I'm really NOT crazy. A wise comedienne said it best.
“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”– Lily Tomlin
A few weeks ago I stopped by a convenience store after tennis for a fast soda and (I must confess) a doughnut. Walking out of the store, on the way to my car, I saw a man sitting with his back against the outside wall of the store.
I walked all the way back to my car, hopped in, shut the door, and heard this audible voice in my head. “Ask the man if he needs anything to eat.”
I sat there for a minute in the parking lot wondering what I had just heard. Did I imagine it? Is it God speaking to me?
Sucking on my soda, I continued to observe the man for about five minutes. He wasn’t very old. He was clean and dressed in jeans and a jean jacket. A backpack sat beside him. But he didn’t look stressed. Didn’t look hungry. Didn’t appear to be looking for assistance or trying to attract anyone’s attention.
Yet I heard the voice in my head again, “Anne, ask the man if he needs anything to eat.” Rather than act on those words, I had a conversation with God for the ensuing 10 minutes.
“But God, he doesn’t look like he wants anything. In fact, he looks like he’s just sitting there waiting on someone.” — Me
“Anne, ask the man if he needs anything to eat.” — God (followed by a long pause)
“But God, I might embarrass him.” -Me
“Anne, ask the man if he needs anything to eat.” — God (followed by another long pause)
“But God, he looks like he’s just sitting there waiting on someone.”- Me
“Ask the man, Anne.” — God (this time followed by a really long pause as I finished my soda)
“God, could you give me a sign of some sort that this is not just all in my head? Something to indicate I’m really supposed to do this?” — Me
“No”- God (followed by a pause to contemplate while finishing my doughnut)
“But God, Gideon asked you for a fleece in the Bible and you gave it to him. Why not me?” -Me
“Asking for a fleece is a sign of unbelief. I met Gideon in his state of doubt and had mercy on him.”- God
“Well, how’s about me?” — Me
“Get out of the car and go ask. Now!” — God
“Ok, but God, I am not going to be happy if I walk up there and embarrass him and he tells me he’s just there waiting on someone. I just want you to know that.” — Me
I continued to sit there in silence for a while. Eventually, I decided I’d slowly drive by the man to get a better look at him. I backed out of the parking space, creeped by his resting place, pulled through the gas pump stalls, and circled around to my initial parking space.
By now the man probably thought I was stalking him. After all that, the conviction remained. I needed to act.
I slowly got out of the car, approaching the man with a tentative smile on my face. He spoke first.
“Afternoon.” — The man
“Hi. I was just wondering if I can get you anything.” — Me
“I’m just waiting for my ride to come.”- The man
Within the span of less than a second, I said to God, “See, I told you so!” But the man interrupted my impending rant.
“But I sure could use something to eat. My ride is bringing my disability check and then taking me to the grocery store. I’ve been waiting on the check, and it’s been a couple of days since I’ve eaten.”
You could have blown me over with a breath. I was astounded and quickly spit out, “Well let me get you a sandwich of some sort. What do you like?”
The man replied, “An Italian sub would be great. I’d really appreciate it. I like their subs here.”
“No problem,” I said, “I’ll be back in a minute.
Walking into the store, I thought I heard God laughing. I purchased the sandwich, a large bottle of water, and placed packets of condiments in the bag with some napkins. Walking up to the man, I handed him the bag and told him to enjoy it.
He thanked me but made no big deal of it. It was just a humble thank you.
I am convinced of a God who still speaks, even today. But we have to desire to hear from Him. We must take time to listen. And we have to spend time with Him.
He doesn’t often speak as audibly in my head as He did in this encounter. Yet sometimes He does. And I’ve learned to listen better as I grow closer to Him.
Discerning God’s voice over the noise of our world is a challenge. The beauty is that God actually desires to speak to us in a most personal and intimate way.
Too often we are the ones speaking to God, asking Him for help. Pleading for forgiveness. Desperate for a change in our circumstances. Then, we forget to listen. Our desire for an answer usually gets in the way.
Lest we forget, the Bible is the very voice of God and He still speaks to the soul who reads it in this century. It’s the ultimate “how-to” manual for life. Yet, sadly, I fear most Christians make little effort to read or study it on a regular basis. How can God speak to you through it if you seldom read it?
I have to admit, it is a little daunting to hear God speak inside your head. I’m betting at least some of you have experienced this. It’s an awesome (and sometimes freakish) encounter! You may wonder if your mind is playing tricks on you at first. But then, it’s like you know that you know that you know. It’s weird and hard to explain.
Faith sees what is not yet visible. It hears even the tiniest of whispers deep within. It is surprised by nothing because we have a God that truly is that big!
Call me crazy if you want to. I’m happy to be called that as long as I continue to hear God speak to me. In fact, I would go so far as to say this: If you truly are a committed Christ-follower and pray to God, it’s crazy if you don’t expect to hear Him speak back!
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